


Blue smoke

by LaSeverine



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 14:22:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16410119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaSeverine/pseuds/LaSeverine
Summary: This is a short narrative from the view of Ian’s guardian angel currently before he goes to prison.





	Blue smoke

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry for all the spelling and grammar mistakes. I am not a native speaker, hope you enjoy anyway <3

_first story... so... wish me luck_

........................................................................................................................

My little boy smokes, not too often but frequently, it calms him, helps him to find his way. He needs it to stay focused, it’s kind of an old and terrible habit, he is fully aware of that. He has tried to quit way too often, it gets boring after a while…  
What kind of person would he be without it? Without the burn deep down in his lungs. He adores it way too much.  
The feeling of smoke reminds him, warms his thoughts. The burn reminds him of his childhood and his thoughts drift away.  
Once he is in his own world, his beautiful tiny heart feels comfortable and gets stuck in there. He loves this kind of sweet bitterness and darkness. Sometimes it takes him the whole night to come out of his little bubble. Than he closes his eyes and blows the grey smoke with pressure out of his lungs, right in the clear and cold night.  
He fades everything out, the heavy light of the streets, the other people and eventually himself. All the feelings disappear for a moment, his limps get numb and his head spins around. Suddenly all of his problems come back by means of a rush of emotions fill his head. He waited for this moment all day, needed it, opens his eyes and... sees it. Sees him again.  
Blue eyes catch his attention, he hears a laugh, he blinks- and it is over. But he knows the pictures will come back, they are a part of him now.  
He knows that he has issues, more than a few, but when they are under his control he is stronger then ever. And he has them under his control.  
Demons can be quiet sometimes.

Once a week he does exactly that, sits on his balcony, a cigarette in his left hand and studies the smoke. A part of him, he is not sure how much of him, leaves this world for a few moments.  
He doesn’t like loud noises, he’s afraid of crowded rooms, especially when he doesn’t know the people around him.  
He thinks a lot, he hates sunrises, but loves to see the sky burn in the evening. For him it’s like a new opportunity, everything crashes down and he has to start again.

He hopes and dreams. And he sees pictures of blue eyes and dark smoke.

I wish I could have told him.


End file.
